her freedom//

i do not like feeling stuck. like many others, i am sure, i desire movement and range of motion and options. i desire to be given choice and to have doors open and for it to be me who chooses whether i decide to leave it wide or whether i close it tightly.

she is stuck. she is tied up and dependent on the strings attached to her.

she is being held and supported by the same things that seem to be holding her back and i don’t like this feeling. she is strong and seems content and i want to give her movement. her eyes are shut and yet i desire to open them wide for her so that she is able to see what else there is. because there is so much more.

these four walls are all she has seen and i want more. she is contained and confined to a reflective glass box and i want it to be opened up so that she can see the what lies just outside.
she is stuck and i feel it for her.

she is stuck but has not experienced freedom. she is stuck but knows nothing else. she is stuck however i am experiencing the tension. she lays still and i want to move. she rests and i want to run.

i wait. i stay. i sit. i want to run but i wait. i stay. i sit. i want to escape but i wait. i stay. i sit. i want to experience freedom but i wait. i stay. i sit. because while it is me desiring the freedom, it is her i am desiring it for. while it is me wanting choice, it is her i want options to be offered to. so i wait. i stay. i sit until she is ready to move and run and have her freedom.

written on january thirty first, twenty twenty-three